Depressed…

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This was originally published June 16, 2010 on Facebook as a Note. But I publish it here, to help tell about my faith journey.

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As a minister my first duty is to remain faithful. Faithful to God. Faithful to the Gospel of Christ. Faithful to the writings in the Bible. Faithful to the Truth. Faithful to myself. Faithful to my wife. Faithful to my family. But I am really really struggling in stage 4 grief and I am beginning to wonder if stage 5 will ever arrive.

In my struggle to remain Faithful, but especially Faithful to the Bible and Faithful to the Truth, there seems to be no reconciliation for me and my struggle with the unwillingness of [an-adjective-should-probably-go-here-type] people to hear the Bible and the Truth thereof. This struggle has me the closest I think I have ever been to a meltdown. I can hear some people now, “Physician heal thyself casting your burdens on God and his Son.” I do, but at the end of the day, there seems to be no resolving this dilemma. Right now I here the song lyrics “People are people, so why should it be you and I should get along so awfully.” What more can I say? True unity as I think I see in the NT, seems so far away from me.

Factions abound, and factions abound because people within those factions believe they are the only ones possessing the proper interpretation of the truth. I debate with myself whether I should even put this thought out there for anyone and everyone to read, because there are just some people who don’t get, but there are some who do. If you don’t get it, I don’t want to hear it. Interesting thing is, in my hopes to be discreet, I imagine that almost anyone could read this and nod in agreement with me.

However, I am resolved to one thing, as long as factions insist on their way and only their way, NT-style unity is not achievable. If someone is critical of my conclusion, please don’t offer criticism about doctrine and “proper interpretation” because if the criticism demands unity of interpretation, then don’t forget the lesson offered by Romans 14. Romans 14 is not about opinions regarding matters that don’t matter, because to each individual the matters mattered doctrinally; Romans 14 cannot be brushed under the rug as “opinion” because it is Paul directly addressing personal and, dare I say, congregational interpretation and application of scripture. “Proper interpretation” of Romans 14 is just as critical as anything and everything else.

I said much and said little, and seems to have had little effect on me.

*Returns to his Prayers*

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