As I write about the last five years, I do so for many reasons. I will describe a few.
I write knowing that which I have experienced has yet to come to pass, it is not yet true. So for those who have wondered what real life might have been like for someone like Abraham who believed in God and God’s leading but had to wait to see what God was going to do, this is for you and me.
Technically five years is a short period of time, but for the one living the personal experiences of those five years, it can be a long period of time. It is difficult to remember everything that transpired. I can’t and won’t express it all because I feel certain there were things that happened that I don’t recall, just as I feel certain that there are things that I recall but missed some kind of detail. I am imperfect, so this is helping me piece things together.
I do have this feeling, if you will, that the woman that God has in mind to join my family is reading my material. Now, why she is reading is a mystery to me, but I write telling some of my experiences for her. But in doing so, I share with everyone, an experience that seems to be at odds with mainline Christianity which sells the concept that maturation in God is easy and that God’s leading is identifiable and that God’s leading meets people’s expectations. I do this because I have learned through this that growth in God is anything but easy, and God’s leading is not as easily identifiable as the church would lead us to believe, and that God’s leading defies expectations.
During the last fifteen yeas I have written and taught much about God, Jesus, the Spirit and the Bible. But that is teaching and does not broach the personal. This is very personal. Opening myself up to scrutiny that some would never allow. During the last five years, I have been castigated, labeled, maligned, ridiculed. The emotional tears from that are real. But I have yet to lose my trust in God above. In some ways, I write to encourage myself, and for those who feel similar in their walk of faith.
As I write this, I write in installments. At this point, I don’t think that I have any working titles for anything. I write as I remember. I write as I feel motivated. I even might write out-of-sequence, but that is not my intent.
I write about the events, some will be major, some minor, but I don’t plan on taking five years to write. I am hoping it will only take a few weeks.
I want to tell of my experiences in a manner that is worth reading, so I am trying to be candid, open, honest, forthtelling, but not so pedantic like a historian who recites historical data. In other words, the events happened, but if I can I am going to try and incorporate my personal experience: anxiety, fears, sorrow, tears, hope, joy, jubilation.
I don’t plan on getting too fancy, and sadly there will probably be punctuation and spelling errors. In light of those things, please consider this a major first draft.
In many ways, I look forward to this journey, yet I am timid about the coming days. May God help me in all things, and may we all find encouragement to remain faithful to God in the most difficult of trials to our personal faith.
Blessings and Shalom