July continued the spiritual activities. Some of it was me not having the best attitude. Some of it was confusing. Some of it made me cry.
I recorded in my journal that on July 3, 2013, I asked God “What am I waiting on?”
I have looked at that as I was waiting on God to do something. I was. I have been.
But I think there is something more important about that answer than I ever thought previously. The Scriptures are filled with concepts that believers should “wait for the LORD” (e.g. ESV Isaiah 8.17, 30.18, 40.31, Jeremiah 14.22, Zephaniah 3.8, and Psalm 37.9).
We think that waiting upon the LORD means remaining in place, lingering in one spot, stopping what we are doing, so that we delay our actions because we are expecting God to do something. That most certainly is valid. Has its place. Is appropriate.
But, in the scope of things, spiritually speaking, I don’t think that is what “waiting for the LORD” actually means, especially when we see the difference in the choice of pronouns from the ESV to the KJV (e.g. Isaiah 8.17 KJV, Isaiah 30.18 KJV, Isaiah 40.31 KJV, Jeremiah 14.22 KJV, Zephaniah 3.8 KJV, and Psalm 37.9 KJV)
Waiting upon the LORD means that we serve God. We serve his table.
Think of it as he is THE guest at a restaurant and we, as believers, are the wait staff. We bring to God that which he asks. We fulfill God’s requests. In other words, like a patron at a restaurant, the patron expects to get what the patron wants in the manner the patron anticipates.
THAT is waiting on the LORD.
But that is not what we teach ourselves. We teach ourselves to be patient, stand still, and delay what we are doing to “wait” on God.
There are many ways that wait staff are compensated for their service. But I will incorporate the tip system into my explanation, even though many individuals abuse the tip system, which is why many want the tip system to be eliminated entirely.
However, the tip system, when done properly is an amazing system. The customer expects great service. The wait staff is supposed to give great service. When great service is received, a great gift is bequeathed to the servant. It is reciprocating symbolism. The customer is treated like a king. The king rewards their servant from the king’s treasures. Thus both receive bounteously.
God is the patron, dining at our restaurant. God has the largest bank account of any patron in existence. God willingly shares his wealth with those who wait graciously upon his table. The better the service God as patron receives, the larger the tip (aka blessings) for the wait staff (servant).
So when I asked the question “What am I waiting on?” I was expecting God to clarify telling that I was waiting on him to make his move, which means I was waiting on some kind of event to transpire for me to see that God was working on my behalf.
In reality, that is NOT the meaning of that moment.
Instead, God as LORD said I wait on him. He is that which I wait on.
In other words, I am the wait staff. He is the patron. At the time, I didn’t understand that answer. But that is exactly what I do. I serve God’s table. In return, God graciously shares his blessings with me, like a patron who doles graciously unto their wait staff.
On July 4, 2013, I prayed, but at the time it was done so more out of personal duress. For whatever reason, I was having a poor attitude, but Mary had encouraged me to pray. As the prayer began, I was informed that I was to kiss, gently, Mary’s forehead, and I did such.
But it is what happened during that prayer that strikes me the most. The Divine chastised me for having a poor attitude and not conducting myself in a healthy fashion.
It is very difficult to receive reprimands, it hurts one’s ego. This is because each of us wants to be who we think we should be and everything else and everyone else be damned. In reality, when serving the Most High, the expectation is that we behave differently, becoming more mature, more discipled.
Considering that I was reprimanded for my attitude and behavior it is of no small surprise that the next day I record in my journal the following: Had a weird dream/vision about a bug zapper acting as a force field keeping our relationship together and keeping outsiders out.
That really is what I was doing with my relationship with Mary. On some days, I was trying even to keep out God. When we are accustomed to something, it’s not that we fear change we just don’t like experiencing change.
Change is difficult. It brings the unexpected. It brings different experiences. It brings in differing social spheres. Change requires attitude adjustments. Change demands alternate perspectives. Change means that which we were accustomed to no longer feels the same.
On July 6, 2013 I had a dream that involved me, my two wives, vehicles, a truck and a shark. I wrote about this dream way back in Installment 12. Since it was so long ago, let me share the dream again.
I wrote in my journal the following:
Mary woke me from a dream asking me, “What are you laughing about?”
The dream, as I remembered it when she woke me. I know it was about me having two wives and they and I are going out to see a movie (out on a date), but it is not they and me, but actors portraying they and me. I am watching more from the point-of-view of the camera. The scene plays out like one from the show Friends.
There are, at least, five people getting ready to leave to go to the movies, banter is taking place, and this scene is inside a lounge area inside a restaurant beside the ocean, they/we are picking up coats, putting them on, and talking about leaving. As we are walking out the door, I tell the guys, the two who would have been a “date” for one of my wives, “Not tonight. We are going on a date.” Telling them to leave it alone, they are not going to play the public role that they had been helping me play. So they turned to each other, they are brothers, twins in fact, and ask each other out on a date. So they tag along with us, but [they] are not part of our date.
As we walk out the door, we walk out into a wharf at night. Upon the hill are several cars with their headlights on. Something happens causing the headlights to die and, at least, one vehicle falls down the hill sliding into the water. The vehicle was a Ford truck, if I remember correctly, its front end and cab slide into the water, far enough into the water to allow the shark that is in the bed of the truck to swim away. I laughed as the shark swam away because of how fast it swam and the trail of bubbles it left on the water. That’s when Mary woke me.
I don’t know why the shark was in the pickup. I know it was still living, kicking back and forth in the bed (In explaining things to Mary, I compared the shark’s action by using the scene in [a buddy cop action movie]). All I know is that when that truck went into the water that shark was gone, fast. (In explaining things to Mary, I compared the shark in my dream and its actions to Jabberjaw a cartoon shark from the seventies. In my dream the shark was a real shark not a cartoonish shark, but the way in which it swam away was cartoonish.)
The manner in which the vehicle slid into the water is fuzzy. The vehicles with the pickup truck were parked either on the edge of a parking lot that sloped toward the water, or the vehicles were parked on an elevated parking area supported by wood construction. If it was a wooden parking area, the supports broke sending the pickup to the water. If it was an edge of the water, it was like an Electromagnetic Pulse (EMP) had turned off the headlights and caused the pickup to slide into the water. Again, I do not fully recall.
Also, all of the vehicles fell nose down sliding down the ground, but only the truck went into the water. Second, the twins were portrayed by the actor who played [a computer hacker in a long running science-fiction show].
After the bed of the pickup slid down into the water, that shark was in the water and swam away like a launched torpedo, and left a trail of bubbles rising up to the surface of the water. To me the manner in which that happened was the funniest thing. That’s when Mary woke me, because I was laughing in real life.
What gets me is that in the dream, my wives were ready to go out on a date, but it was me that was not ready. I was not ready to take my wives out on a date. But something happened in that moment, I changed, I became ready.
As soon as we stepped out as a unit, the reaction from the vehicles was immense. There is more to share about the dream, but I will tell it in just a little bit.
The weekend arrived. We went to services, but services were a little different. Those who usually lead services were out of town for a scheduled event.
Services began with prayer groups. After we prayed, my journal conveys that one of the congregational leaders called me over and said he believed that God pointed me out to him and I was to “speak what was on my heart” and that he believed he was told it “had something to do with being in Messiah”.
In my journal, I wrote:
That [what he said] resounded in me and [I] turned my thoughts toward [something I was discussing] on Facebook, because that “in Messiah” really was the heart of the question. So my gears started and I asked God for help, and I briefly talked with Mary. By the time I was to speak, I read the NT passage Hebrews 2.10-18 which discussed Jesus suffering and segued into 1 Peter 2.11-12, 21-23.
I spoke that being “in Messiah” means suffering but living “in the flesh through the spirit” is possible because God has called us and empowered us through Messiah to accomplish the work. In that short message I mentioned that when “in Messiah” God has called everyone that is “in Messiah”, but everyone does not have to be a preacher, but they are called to be a faithful mother, daughter, father, son, faithful like Abraham and his household. …I spoke about God putting his law on the heart, yes governments exist by God, but we still don’t always see justice and yes the country is in sad shape but we are in the Diaspora and we can be faithful and live faithfully as a servant so that those who accuse us can find God’s glory when He visits them. We can do this because Christ has given us the power to prevail.
Based upon the faces of those last night, …the people truly were encouraged by being told to be the best they could be as mother, daughter, son, father, it is what they most identify with and the easiest to accomplish.
But that was not all. During praise and worship, I was able to pray. That interactive prayer was rather brief. I began my prayer: Blessed are you LORD God sovereign of the cosmos giver of all blessings to his creation, blessed is the name of Messiah Yeshua [Jesus]. The Divine’s message to me was short.
The message was:
I am pleased with your change of attitude and direction, this is the man I know, this is the servant, the son, I recognize. Where have you been? No need to answer, it’s rhetorical.
My son your service is from the heart, it helps so many, even when the ‘crowd’ is so few. Trust in me, my words do not return void.
That weekend Mary and I spent some time talking about the future of our family, and one of the realities of a husband with two wives – he has love for two women. My journal records that Mary made an important observation. She expressed that a husband who loves two women needs to be capable of expressing healthy husbandly love from himself to a wife, even when the other wife is directly in their view. She expressed that doing such helps each woman realize that neither wife is pre-eminent but that both are loved for who they are.
I know that I am speaking theoretically, but that seems to be a profound observation. It seems then that signs of affection that are hidden away are interpreted in unhealthy manners. Being so open about affection probably makes the initial adjustment uneasy, but with continual engagement it seems to have a deep impact upon the way wives view each other in ways that may mystify many-a-husband.
That same day, Mary asked me to go spend some time in prayer and to learn the interpretation of the dream that I had about the two wives. The prayer revealed far more than just the interpretation, but I share the interpretation first. The Divine said:
The dream is you finally coming to terms with your new reality, even though “Kitty” is not yet there. The doorway is the transition point from private to public life. The cars falling are the chins of the public as they watch you, they trip and fall and some get scared away, but your true friends remain.
As one might suspect, I had to come to terms with my own life. Yet there it is. Again the Divine used the word “Kitty”. I spoke of that in Installment 53.
The doorway is probably not so obvious, but doorways are transition points. Inside the building was private. Outside the building is public. In a sense, when I made this all known it became public, but that is not the same as walking out into public with two wives, where my right hand holds a hand of the wife on my right and my left hand holds a hand of the wife on my left. That is a much different type of public presentation.
I have noticed the reaction of people as I have talked about two wives. So I can only imagine the reaction that our marriage will create in people. Yet, I am thankful that true friends have remained and will remain.
The prayer opened with the Divine saying:
You are a good man on an excellent mission, your ministry will grab the attention of many, some in the wrong ways, but you let me take care of them and their havoc. You stay focused on family ministry, you have chosen, and reaffirmed your choice. You really did not want this type of family ministry. But you have given yourself to me, and I have given you a ministry that needs a worker, you are the one I chose, and I have chosen wisely, and would choose you again. But, don’t become prideful, pride is a downfall. Pride shows trust in self, not trust in me. Trust me. Always. I am your lifeline, your savior, the one who gave Messiah Yeshua [Jesus].
Without a doubt, what I am grabs the attention of many. The best reasons I feel it does such are because of two things. One, I teach the validity of the Torah for Christians. Two, I embody the freedom within Messiah.
As for the family ministry, years ago, back when I was in Bible School, I entertained the idea of going into family ministry. But after years of study, and noticing the increasing need for well-thought out scriptural defense, I focused intently on developing skills for Biblical apologetics.
After I left pulpit ministry and experienced the things that I have been sharing, I had to accept that God was moving me into a type of family ministry. Most Christians think “family ministry” and respond favorably and encouragingly.
But this is a type of family ministry that is much different. First, it has me at home, a much different role than where I was previously. This reformatting permits each wife to conduct themselves in a unique way. This reformatting has me handling the responsibilities of family in a unique way.
The prayer said that I didn’t want this particular type of family ministry. I am compelled to say that is quite true, I didn’t. There were factors I had to overcome, like the reality that my kids were almost grown and I had plans on using the coming years differently.
There were many factors that I had to accept, like having two wives, me being at home, and that my later life would revolve around young children. None of that, and I mean N O N E of it is bad. It’s all good and a fantastic blessing. However, I had envisioned a much different future for myself, and God’s leading meant I had to reevaluate my personal expectations.
Now, I see God’s leading as being far better than anything I could have determined for myself. I have always wanted to do something with long lasting impact and to make my life and death worth something. This definitely seems to fulfill that personal need, even though it is completely different than anything I could have ever planned.
My prayer then moved into the interpretation of the dream. After the interpretation, the Divine continued saying:
As for “Kitty” she is on her way. I am speaking to her, affecting her heart. It is my will, she will, no pun, find her heart for you and Mary. “Kitty” will be intimidated, but you and Mary simply need to express your love and willingness and acceptance of her. She will be grateful, as you have been grateful.
Life is beautiful, and life can be enjoyed for more than what sensually focused humanity understands. Yes, the Gospel is important, but what is that Good News worth if you cannot enjoy the physical life I have given you. Remain in Messiah, all of you, but relax and enjoy that which I have given you. Live life enjoying what I give, doing so is acceptable to me and brings me pleasure. Seeing you all, you three, your family enjoying the magnificence of what I provide will be just as powerful a testimony to the Good News as any preacher preaching the wonderful saving grace of Jesus.
Family. Faith. Freedom.
It’s that simple.
God gives the blessings of family. Through family faith is sustained. Through Messiah there is freedom.
There are millions of Christians living faithfully. There are far fewer who feel the intense freedom that God permits.
Yet freedom in Messiah does not equal lawlessness, which is transgressing against God. Jesus upheld the Law of God, that Law being Torah, and Jesus demonstrated himself faithful to follow God’s Law. Neither Moses, nor the Prophets, nor Jesus, nor the Apostles, condemn a marriage of two wives. That means that before God, there is no biblical law against a man having two or more wives. To quote Paul, where there is no law, there is no transgression (Romans 4.15).
The same Apostle makes this statement in Galatians 5.1 ESV: For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery. God’s Law and the New Testament do not enslave, they set free. Enslavement is found where ordinances and traditions masquerade themselves as doctrines from God.
Unfortunately, and it is unfortunate, the church has emphasized monogamy to the point that some have taught that God only approves of monogamy. That has led many to shame and shun the marriage of one man having two or more wives. In Christ, freedom means freedom, in Messiah, liberty means liberty, the Freedom and liberty to study God’s word, from Genesis to Revelation, and the freedom and liberty to live by those teachings.
In Messiah Yeshua, Christ Jesus, I am free, so are my wives and family.
Blessings and Shalom