Installment 71

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Back on October 16, 2013 I placed myself into interactive prayer. During that prayer the Divine conveyed:

This walk is something brand new to you.

By “this walk” the Divine is referring to a marriage consisting of two wives. It is not ‘brand new’ to the world, but it is ‘brand new’ to us. That is important to understand, the Divine continued:

Everything, relationally, you have ever experienced means nothing. You cannot draw upon old ‘experience’ for wisdom, there is none to be had.

I cannot underscore the importance of that concept. There are many who go into a marriage with multiple wives (polygyny) or have multiple marriages (polygamy), the two are similar but not quite the same. They navigate those waters using experience from previous monogamous relationships. The Divine was leading me to understand that to do such, for us, does not help us.

Instead, the Divine is leading me to understand that experiences with monogamy are basically useless for our relationship. Similar to the concept that individuals who have never been married cannot draw upon their experiences of singlehood to navigate the waters of matrimony. It is not often thought of that way, but that is certainly true.

In essence, my monogamous experience has zero relevance to my marriage with two wives. Almost seems scary, but actually it provides a wonderful starting block, freshness, newness. So consider the following as the Divine continued:

You are [brand new] in this territory, live it as such, learn as you go, behave, draw near unto them [like] this is your first marriage, not second.

Is that not the exact situation that never having been married individuals face? They learn as they go. They behave. They draw near to each other.

However, those concepts are contrary to what I see many polygamists do. Many interact with their families where the second wife is a second marriage, the third wife is a third marriage, and so on and so forth it goes.

That is not how I am to approach this marriage. Instead, the Divine continued:

This is the first time for everyone in this relationship, the old you(s) mean nothing, having no value in understanding the relationship dynamic.

The concepts of brand new, a first marriage, first relationship are to govern me, us, in this new marriage with two wives. It’s brand new, fresh territory, where we learn as we go, as if this was our very first marriage.

The dynamics are unique and require me to learn how to interact with two wives, they with me, and each wife with the other. Hence, why the Divine continued:

This is important, for it sets everyone on equal footing, no one is better than the other, everyone is [brand] new, married for the first time….

That, in essence, erases the polygamous concept of first wife, second wife. In our relationship, there is none of that, because there is no hierarchy amongst the wives. Additionally, apparently there is no hierarchy from husband to wives either, we’re all on equal footing.

So this arrangement sets strikingly different than the way many experience plural marriages (polygamy) and many plural wife (polygyny) arrangements. But this arrangement also sets strikingly different than the way many experience monogamy. The Divine then added:

Your (collective you) life will confound others, even other polygamists … my will is to demonstrate true love, true unity, in family, this is unique, and will have a tremendous impact on many, both monogamous and polygamous.

Since I mentioned that there is a distinction between polygyny and polygamy, it makes sense then that the Divine is using the terms monogamous and polygamous in the colloquial sense, where monogamous means one husband married to one wife, and polygamous means one husband having multiple wives.

Yet there it sits. The manner in which I, we, approach this marriage will cause others to ponder what they see. My, our, aim is true love, true unity, in family. Now, of course, that means that we three have a marital unity that is unique. And in that marital unity, we develop a family unity that is itself unique.

On October 17, 2013, I again entered into interactive prayer. I began with a blessing: Blessed are you Jehovah our God, Sovereign of the Cosmos, who sanctifies his ways.

Further into my prayer, I asked: Could you share something with me tonight, anything? I simply want to know something. The following is how the Divine responded:

Today, tomorrow, and forever, time elements, but not yet time, today is today, not tomorrow, yet today’s tomorrow is forever away.

Time stands still, yet flows like water. Time is eternal, yet not, being temporal. You age, yet you don’t. Life is long and arduous, or not. Life is young and frivolous, or is it? Time is the paradox, for tomorrow when you wake up it is today, and tomorrow remains distant.

So how does forever, ever apply? I’ll tell you. Forever walks, simply walks, destination unknown, but known, could be far away or near, but walking to that place can take forever, but maybe not. Forever is a long time, or is it? Time seems irrelevant when the task is the moment, the heart’s desire, otherwise it is forever and morose.

Time. T.I.M.E. Too Indifferent Multiplied Everywhere.

Funny, time. Time can be had. Time can be lost. But this moment will never be reclaimed or re-experienced. An eternal now? I think not. An eternal movement forward, ‘now’ implies non-movement. How’s that for time?

See you next time. In your now, your future, my present, for time, my time, is always present.

Present that. Amen.

That holds a lot of things to consider. I simply leave it for my reader.

On October 21, 2013, I prayed. I asked: Can you help me? The Divine responded:

Help you? What do you think I have been doing?

Interesting is it not? Sometimes we miss the very help that is being given us. In any event, the Divine added:

Tenderness, mercy, love, grace, goodness, these are the things of power, not mind, [not] intellect, [nor] sexual prowess. Mercy shows compassion, care for the other, even in their failure and turmoil. Forgiveness shows repair of relationship even when they have hurt and betrayed you. Grace is shown to show them that there is no way to earn your favor, you are simply bequeathing it to them. Love is the bond, but love is so much more than what you understand, so allow me to provide some clarity.

Love. Long Oversight Views Eternity.

Long, a description of entirety. Oversight, is what it [love] does – [love] views. Thus to have love sees the long eternal goal with oversight, managing the views of what is yet to come, but what must be.

Love is far more than emotion, it [love] is a state of being. People call it love, because there is no real word to describe it. But love, what is called love, sees the power, the longitude of eternity, views its magnificence, having the oversight, the management, to accomplish what must be accomplished…

As believers, we, often turn to 1 Corinthians 13 for a description of love, and it is an amazing concept. But the above is also an amazing picture of love, is it not?

Not to mention how the Divine begins with concepts about tenderness, mercy, and grace. Taken together with love, all of that is goodness.

On October 27, 2013, I engaged in interactive prayer, beginning with a blessing: Blessed are you Jehovah our God, Sovereign of the Cosmos, who gives words into his people.

During that prayer the Divine conveyed:

Arguments come. Arguments go. Love remains. Present, and present well, but cautiously… be kind.

That is an important thought. I have witnessed many debates. As far as I can tell, debates almost always represent two sides. Neither side is really there to consider the presentation of the other. Neither side is really there to persuade the other. Each defends what it believes is true. Each side is convinced it possesses the truth on the given topic, and sadly many debates turn into gross unkindness.

Admittedly, I have never participated in a formal debate. Personally, because of the reasons above, I don’t know if I ever will participate in a debate, or if I ever want to.

Debates only offer the pseudo-presentation of a formal discussion, but debates assemble to definitely defend positions, and thereby formally miss the intended concept of a discussion.

A discussion is also a presentation of ideas, I am involved in a type of discussion right now. This discussion is a process of talking about “My Story” but also participating in an exchange of ideas, those ideas being conveyed because of my experiences.

I have participated in lots of discussions. Some heated. Some not. Some intense. Some not. Some formal, some not. Discussions, while inherently less formal, seem to be far more productive that debates, because while emotions can flare up, discussions encourage a disposition of kindness.

I know that the topic of marriage is volatile, and I want to remain as kind as possible, because the Divine conveyed:

Some, some will listen, but you are confronting their most personal space – marriage. Nothing, nothing, nothing is more sacred.

Think about that.

For humanity, nothing is more sacred that marriage, from which flows family. Therefore, when marriage is discussed, we are considering what is most sacred, and we, as people are reluctant to have that confronted, because it’s our very definition of our personal space – our identity, how we see ourselves.

Is it any wonder then, that the discussions and debates about marriage are so intense?

Blessings and Shalom