Installment 98

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On July 4, 2014 (Month 4 Day 6), I had a dream, Mary recorded it into her journal.

[Ray] dreamed that we returned home from somewhere. She [the other lady] sent a huge shadow box with a bunch of stuff in it. There was a letter, it said something about [a] husband and China. A huge letter with tiny print. In the bottom it had her name. I say, “See it’s her.” It was like postage clearing stamps. It was like she was sending this stuff back to him [Ray] – there were a lot of things in the shadow box.

Later in the day I prayed about that dream. I began with a blessing: Blessed are you Jehovah our God, Sovereign of the Cosmos, who gives the interpretation of dreams. The Divine responded:

Yes. Oh yes I do.

Then asked:

You have a dream, do you?

I replied: Yes, Father. The Divine responded:

Tell me what you remember.

In my prayer, I recorded: A glass covered shadow-style box having a letter from her along with some kind of mementos with two (I think) things from me stapled and located at the bottom of the box. The Divine responded:

Now, my son, I didn’t need you to tell me,

Odd response, yes? Not necessarily, for the Divine to be the Divine, the Divine does not really need me to reiterate or even convey portions of what I dreamed. So why convey the above? The Divine continued:

I need you to have record

So the purpose of me telling what I remember was that I would have some type of record, some type of information, about that dream. The Divine continued:

for here is the interpretation: the box is constraint, but containment, the glass means observance – she is looking in, keeping and collecting things to present them to you. The collection is not aggressive, but appealing, things one keeps because of affection.

On that day, I had a dream, in that dream another woman sent me a display case containing mementos that she had collected about me. The interpretation reveals that it was more out of affection because the items were appealing.

What is odd is that from the dream the box was a type of surprise to me. But from the interpretation, it also seems that she has been watching me, collecting things about me. I am not quite sure how to feel about that. Cautious? Startled? Impressed?

After the interpretation, the Divine continued:

The time is coming, be ready.

From that it seems that the dream has a possibility of becoming reality, that the woman the Divine has referred to as Rachel will contact me.

But that dream was from July 2014, it’s now August 2016, and still no contact, if the dream actually indicated that she was to contact. So, I am still baffled.

On July 5, 2014 (Month 4 Day 7), I prayed during Havdalah. I began with a blessing: Blessed are you Jehovah our God, Sovereign of the Cosmos, who gives joy and joy filled homes. The Divine responded:

My son, yourself be blessed.

How is that for a response? The Divine continued:

Today you have decided the course of your ship, its destination it shall reach.

What is the course of my ship? Partly it is a marriage with two wives, helping them and their children, also an assembly in the style of Philemon, along with several other things that I have described while telling “My Story”.

That was over two years ago, has my ship reached its destination? Not yet, I don’t think, but I feel that the destination is closer. The Divine continued:

Now you will be able to achieve the goodness that sets within your heart.

That is actually a comforting thought. In light of so many who offer unfavorable criticism and judgment about my character, it’s good know that there is goodness within me. Then the Divine continued:

Letting go from the shore was the biggest decision, anchors aweigh, we’re on our way.

Like I have mentioned, that was over two years ago. I set out for uncharted waters. As the journey has moved forward in time, I have moved further and further along. Consider that the Divine added:

Now, listen to me.

Again, that entire idea of shema. So I had better pay attention. The Divine continued:

The seas get rough, but not near the shore. The shore is calm, quiet, ready made for smooth sailing.

Consider that image. Yes, the shoreline can get dangerous, but in ancient days, much ocean going traffic sailed the shore, not just for navigation, but survival due to ship design. So the Divine keeps me near the shore.

Back in 2014, I really didn’t see that too well, but here in August 2016, I can see it. So consider that the Divine continued:

We must sail the sea line for now, navigate, and get you familiar with navigation and direction.

What was the purpose of sailing the coastline? Learning, and learning I did, not even humans put an inexperienced sailor as captain out on the high seas.

Part of the training was to accept myself, accept my decisions, my direction in life, but also to become acclimated to the workings of the home and its needs. So consider that back in 2014, the Divine continued:

We are not going into the deep just yet, but the waters will get deeper faster than you think, perhaps faster than you want.

Over the course of those ensuing years, the water did get deeper, but I can also see how the Divine kept me near the shore, because deep waters is where I am headed, out to sea where few want to travel.

For me, the description is an appropriate motif being that the Divine described a woman’s heart as an ocean, and I will be sailing two different oceans, each with their own characteristics. So I had to become capable of being the husband that is ready for two wives.

Part of that, as much as it pains me to describe it, is the concept of truly lifting anchor and sailing from family to find new land, which makes what the Divine conveyed next all the more important. The Divine continued:

I am your northern star, steer by me, and all will see. Keep your compass on me, and you will never lose sight of your destination.

I am uncertain how my parents and in-laws will ultimately interact with me. I want familial relationship with them.

During the course of the last couple of years, I had an interesting conversation with someone who approaches things significantly different from those they are related to. Their situation intrigued me, so I inquired how that different approach occurred. They informed me that they moved away from family and saw things from a different perspective, yet they retain contact with their family. Let that sink in.

You see, I don’t recall ever being encouraged to develop independent of my family or in-laws. They all were very similar in approach to life. For most of my life, I tracked right along with them.

But during the last ten years, I have become far more my own person, if that makes sense, having thoughts uniquely different from theirs, to the extent that some really do not know how to approach me or discuss matters with me. Some will talk with me. They listen.

But they truly seem not to comprehend how I have arrived where I am, nor do some really want to understand. At one time, that really bothered me. At the minimum, I wanted their understanding. Reflectively, I was looking for their acceptance. I wasn’t too willing to leave the shores of family, because I think family matters, even if we disagree.

But the Divine has been and will remain my guiding light, and remains my northern star, allowing me to steer my proverbial ship. I know that not all agree with me, but that is the truth. As such, I intend to keep my compass on the Divine, in order to make it to my destination.

What is that destination? The Divine answers that question, but first, the Divine continued:

Now listen.

Not yet answering the question about destination, however, again, the concept of shema, so I have to pay attention. The Divine continued:

Your wives will listen to you, may not do all things or everything you say, but they will listen. Thus you must speak, never stay, never remain, quiet.

That’s the destination, a life with two wives. Yet, even though that is the destination, there is a truth to that destination, a vocal reality. I am to be involved with them on an exquisite level. Interacting with them on an echelon unique to marriage, where I provide my guidance and input.

Yet they interact with me, listening – similar to the concept of shema but certainly not the same level, because the Divine directly decreed: may not do all things or everything [I] say. That means they have autonomy, similar as I do.

They and I might, and most likely will, disagree. To what degree will we disagree? I am not certain. I simply know that no relationship has complete agreement.

Contrary to the assumption many have, I am not their overlord. They are not subjects. But consider how the Divine continued:

A ‘captain’s’ voice is to be heard.

Notice that the Divine did not label me the captain. The Divine put that in quotation marks. That makes the Divine’s declaration very different.

Yet, someone has to be the ‘captain’. I am not completely certain why that is the case. I surmise it is because I remain at home, which is a unique arrangement.

Many monogamous couples have the wife remain at home. And as such, many husbands refer to her as ‘the boss’. Not because it is derogatory, but because she is, because she has the oversight of the house, and he defers to her judgment on many things regarding the house.

As for polygamous families, from what I have seen, most husbands work, and one or more of the wives stay home. In that regard, someone still has to be ‘the boss’.

With monogamy where the wife remains at home, it seems pretty easy to figure out who oversees the house.

With polygamy where one or more wives can remain at home, it seems more difficult to determine who oversees the house.

For us, with me remaining at home, it changes the field. It becomes similar to some monogamous couples where the husband remains at home, where he becomes ‘the boss’ because he oversees the house.

With this different approach, with me remaining at home being the ‘captain’ of our little ship, it permits the ladies to develop their strengths. Since children are going to be part of the picture, someone has to remain at home. It might as well be me.

I have the willingness. I have the ability to oversee not only children, but oversee the needs of the house. Economically, it provides an advantage.

Many husbands within multi-wife marriages work long diligent hours to provide for as many as are in the household. Similar is often done in monogamous marriages, where the wife remains at home.

But when the household is multi-wife and lots of children, the husband as the one provider finds himself divided. He has to work. He has to give time to each wife. He has to spend time with his kids. He has to find rest. He has to stay focused on God.

I know that there are lots of variables (e.g. education, longevity in the workplace, occupational training, financial investments, among many other things), but having each wife work allows for the potential that the household will have similar if not higher net income than if the man were the sole income.

At first that might sound odd, but there is an advantage. Consider that most working women lament that they lose time with their children and family. For many in monogamous relationships, it takes both incomes to make the budget.

So consider my situation where I will be in a multi-wife family (two specifically), and the ladies will work. They are providing a dual income in order to make the family budget.

Without doubt, a household has to have income, there is no way around it. BUT there is an advantage for the ladies.

As I expressed earlier, many women lament that they cannot spend time with their children and family. As needs arise, because the home is still financially a two-income home, either wife can reduce her workload, or number of hours she invests for work each week, in order to attend to the matter of family to her satisfaction.

That might mean that when her children are younger, she works, but takes the necessary time off to meet the needs of her children. Also, she is not left in an emotional lurch because there is still income and the security that someone is home helping the children and taking care of matters of the house.

Me fulfilling that role as ‘captain’, allows them to develop, yet also allows them to have family and experience the beauty of family without the regrets of missing their children.

Returning to the prayer, the Divine continued:

Don’t bark orders for a crew will rebel maybe even mutiny.

Sadly, I have met many-a-person, and I do say person, because that person could be anyone, who “barks orders” at others. The person who does that is difficult to respect, because they functionally don’t respect others, and when feeling disrespected many feel like rebelling.

So consider that the Divine added:

But a captain who commands respectfully will be followed ‘or land and sea.

So I take the Divine’s conveyance seriously. I will disagree with my wives, either the one, or the other, or both at the same time, but I truly, truly I am wanting a house that is beautiful, and a relationship with them that demonstrates to them that I love and care for them.

Returning to the prayer, the Divine continued:

Now, your family, they need your guidance. So guide them, bolster them, show them the way. Help them.

The family begins with us, me and my wives. From us flow the children. Do my wives need guiding? For me, it seems that the Divine has been clear, they are adults, capable of making their decisions, being spiritually accountable to the Divine.

So how am I to help them in their spiritual lives? The way iron sharpens iron. We work together to help each other develop. They learn from me. I learn from them. Where needed, they correct me, and I correct them. It’s a team effort.

But guidance is definitely what the person who remains at home does. Guides the children, the direction of handling matters of the family, yet strengthens the physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being of all those in the house, strengthening them, supporting them. That is helping everyone.

As the prayer came to a close, the Divine conveyed:

Time is short. Be ready. Amen?

Again that prayer was from 2014. So what does the Divine mean “Time is short”? I am uncertain.

Was I ready in 2014? No. 2015? No.

I was sailing near the shoreline, gaining skills, learning navigation, learning the direction I needed to go in order to be the ‘captain’ of the house, helping my wives and our children.

It is 2016, am I ready?

Yes, amen, I’m ready. I long to see this destination.

It is my prayer, that the time is short. I have spent those years learning, I’m ready to be whom I am supposed to be.

Blessings and Shalom