I want to share some things from my prayer back on February 6, 2015 (Month 11 Day 17). I made note that as I was beginning my prayer, I was led to understand that I did not need to give a blessing. So I began: Father, I am here. The Divine responded:
Yes you are my son.
That seems to be a recognition that I was there participating in the prayer. But what is next that is of greater interest, the Divine continued:
I have news for you.
In my journal I recorded that I took a deep breath wondering if I was going to receive bad news. But I didn’t.
The news simply conveyed things about the direction of my life, part of which includes the following, the Divine conveyed:
Now, I give you two, two wives,
I will stop right here to address something.
When I have interacted with Christians, and I have interacted with numerous people, and we discuss God, prayer, leading, and such, it is inevitable that the majority assess me negatively.
I have written “My Story” and in telling it, it has occurred to me that it is possible that there is someone somewhere who has experienced leading from the Divine, and has been censured for their following of that leading. I hope I am encouraging them to listen to the Divine and that they are not alone in trying to understand the Divine.
For me, it is so difficult to talk about this leading, not because of the experience, but because I have grown impatient with Christians, and their typical bitterness, censuring snarks, and their anger.
I resist, but don’t always succeed, because in me exists a desire to rise up and give these people the negativity they are displaying, fight fire with fire – so to speak. In these situations, they label me, castigate me, blame me, and steadfastly refuse to accept that there is truth that the Church would not preach. So it has been a long, arduous process of learning how to respond to their closed-minded, closed-spirited attitudes.
So having said that I return to the prayer, the Divine has given two wives. I currently only have one. The other lady is not here yet. I don’t know what it means that that is the case. I simply know that the situation exists.
But I want to continue looking at the prayer, the Divine continued:
more you need not,
That might be a relief to many, but that is not the point. Truly, scripturally, the number of wives a man can have is never limited. I know that sets odd with so many Christians, but that is Biblically true.
The Church (and Judaism for that matter, which I will never understand because their own history includes polygamy) denies the scriptural permission for one man to have two or more wives. The Church has utilized passages from Jesus and from the Apostle Paul to enforce the one-man-and-one-woman marriage.
That emphatic monogamy-only marital doctrine has been taught for so long that most Christians can’t read the Biblical narrative in any other way. That is what is so distressing, they claim to be of the book, but -maritally- they are not of the book, they are of Church doctrines based on the book.
But as for the prayer, the Divine is making that statement to make another statement, the Divine continued:
not because you can’t, but they can’t, this is all their heart can open to.
So in leading my life, the Divine is limiting things, because of the care and concern the Divine wants me to have regarding these two ladies.
Some will say “DUH! That is why the Church emphasizes monogamy!”
My retort to that response is to declare that that is why the Church does something is utter nonsense, because I have seen the Church keep a husband and wife together when doing such is to the wife’s detriment. So give me a break, the Church does not demonstrate care and concern in all circumstances, however, the Church will clamor to that claim in order to prevent something it doesn’t want.
In the prayer, the Divine is making it clear that this one particular adjustment is all that these two ladies will be open to. The Divine will convey some additional thoughts, but I am going to take this moment and offer some of my own surmising.
First, take a look at the culture that surrounds the Church. We live in a time that makes it difficult for women, and men too for that matter. But even with all the freedoms that women have been able to achieve in the secular -and to some degree religious- spheres, there are not very many men who could possibly match the spiritual desires of the woman.
It is a historic reality that men are not as spiritually attenuated as women. I don’t know why, they just aren’t. I’m not insulting men, men just approach life differently, even the men within the Church approach life differently. That’s just life.
So from a woman’s spiritual perspective, especially a Christian woman, for her, to her, her options are limited. That is just historic spiritual reality.
In many instances, the Christian woman will compromise in order to secure a husband. Oftentimes, she compromises her spiritual expectations for her husband, just so she can have a husband, because she wants children. As one who grew up in the Church, taught and led in the Church, the examples are there, and they make for less than happy Christian women, because they lament that their husbands are not more spiritually mature.
However, that can’t be said for all Christian women. That is because some of them will remain unmarried, or they will wait until the spiritually appropriate man is presented. But that might take a lifetime and then the Christian woman might not be able to have children of her own, which for her is a unique lamentation.
For me, and my surmisings, here is what I see. My two ladies compromise their expectations of monogamy, not because they have changed in their emphasis that monogamy is best, but because they would rather compromise marital monogamous expectations than compromise their spiritual needs.
So what I am declaring is that my two ladies are willing to compromise marital preference in order NOT to compromise spiritual preference. That compromise is made because they would rather endure the haranguing of martial judgmental attitudes than compromise the spiritual upbringing of their children.
That is the direct opposite of many Christian women, and because that compromise is not what other Christian women would make, my two ladies will have a unique challenge. With that in mind, it is so important that the Divine added:
Now this does not belittle them, no, for they were monogamists at heart,
So, at their heart, my two ladies remain monogamists. That is because monogamy resounds within their heart, it’s just that they are willing to compromise on that one aspect, in order not to compromise on other things they believe matter more.
In a sense, they are saying that if it could have been done any other way, they would have done it. But since it couldn’t be done another way, they compromised the ONLY thing that they could compromise, the Biblical preference for monogamy. It’s not how they want it, but it is an option that is available and they took it.
That does NOT make them lesser women. NO! In many ways, it speaks to their spiritual focus and how important the spiritual focus is to them. That is why, what is conveyed next is so important, the Divine added:
and opened to you their trust that you should never break.
That is the entire crux of the issue. They take the Biblical marital permission not because they want to rebel, but because without taking it, they cannot have the house they want, which means that they have entrusted me with something most precious – their trust.
That is why the Divine limits the number of wives for our marriage. Not because a man is inherently limited to how many wives he can have, but because the Divine, as God, is concerned for his daughters and their well-being. This is what the Divine conveyed:
If another were to be incorporated, you will break your family, and break it you shall not, for they won’t.
In essence, they break away from their marital preferences ONLY because they have faith in the Divine and the leading that comes from the Divine. In a sense, they are trusting that the Divine has made the correct path for them and their children, even though it runs at odds with the expectations of other believers.
This is why, while our marriage breaks the monogamist mold, the mold is NOT being broken for a freelancing husband seeking to do as he wishes, but because these two ladies compromised their preference for monogamy, because they have reassurance that nothing else will be compromised, because they themselves cannot find themselves compromising on anything else.
Later in the prayer, the Divine conveyed:
This life will mend people’s hearts in ways you cannot comprehend
You know, quite frankly I can’t comprehend it, because right now my experience has revealed certain dynamics. That is to be, I suppose. But the other thing that has come from my experience is my ability to interact with other people, regarding subject matter that I used to judge. Here’s what I mean.
The person I used to be looked at the world through much different lenses, through different experiences, not necessarily always the best or always the worst, but it was all I had.
Here in 2016, after so many years of living in this experience, I have come to have a new appreciation for life and its curious ways of unfolding. This has encouraged me to contemplate things that I could have never considered, and that allows me to interact with people on a whole new level.
Just a little later in the prayer, the Divine conveyed:
…but make no mistake your life is one of challenges, preaching, teaching, sharing, and grieving…
Yep. I have been doing all of those. And each one is true. But that which is next is important, the Divine conveyed:
…faithfulness is yours as you show your faithfulness,
So think about that. As I show faithfulness, they show faithfulness. That is a concept that works even when one husband and one wife. So the following becomes important, the Divine conveyed:
infidelity of heart or body brings ruin to your family, ruin it not,
That, my reader, is the fall of many families, whether it is the masculine or the feminine. But this particular prayer is aimed directly me.
For me, the fidelity of the house depends completely upon me. That may or may not sound fair, but it seems like the counterpoint to the ladies, because they “opened to [me] their trust that [I] should never break [their trust].”
That may not be what other men want, but for me, it works. Look, the two ladies are approaching this from a distinct and unique perspective. I intend to meet their perspective, which is important because the Divine added:
for their hearts are committed to you for a long as you are committed to them, so commit to eternity, and security is yours.
For us, this marital arrangement is unique. Mary (Esther) has made her choice. Rachel will make hers.
But making this choice has come with a cost. I know that. That is why when each lady makes her decision, she has made her decision, and will not back away from it.
To provide them with anything less than what they expect as total commitment and faithfulness from me is for me not be faithful to either of them.
The cost of making a choice that is not in accordance with the Church is a steep one. For me, it has come at a loss of Christian friends, and a distancing with my parents and greater family.
In the light of the cost, my commitment to unswerving fidelity with my two ladies means everything.
Blessings and Shalom