Installment 121

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On April 3, 2015 (Month 1 Day 14), I had an interesting dream about me being in England. I wrote the following into my journal:

I was in the courtyard area of a palace in merry old England and a wealthy man in his 30’s, prince type, was showing off his musical skills to his audience by playing a Beatles tune (not sure which) and another joined him.

But before they began, he got up from his seat like he remembered something and he gets up and gets a pitcher of tea and he pours it in a cup and it’s not a full cup, but it’s cold, been in a fridge or something.

He gives me the cup and I know I have to go warm the tea for him as he plays music. I go in the palace and a maid shows me to the kitchen. She gets me a little device to put the tea into to put over the fire. The kitchen is opulent.

While I am warming up the tea, she is being old British crass and putting down this person and that, which included her own mother, and as I’m talking this part to her, another person is with us in the kitchen, (outside I said, “I’ve been in merry old England such a very short time and I’m already here for tea-time.”) and I say to her in a mocking style something like this, “Some of the wealthiest are some of the dumbest people, and some of the poorest are the most intelligent. But those who are intelligently wealthy live as if they are not.”

And we were checking my tea at that point and a significant portion has boiled off, it hadn’t taken long. I said, “And so today we have met a man that has employed two, you and I. And you and I get to go home at the end of our day.” And the manner in which it was delivered, she replied, “You know, that is something I’m going to have to think about.” Like it was something she had never thought about.

After this conversation, whatever tea was left was even more evaporated and I had less left in the cup and I am left with the notion I have to make more tea and I am wondering what do I do with this cup of tea for the man who wanted the tea? I even thought of going outside and saying, “I’m sorry my lord.” But I did come to understand that it’s the tea that is the connecting point between the two incidents.

After heating and pouring it into the cup, it keeps evaporating and going down. I felt like there wouldn’t be any left by the time I got the cup back to the man.

As I read through the dream, I have my thoughts, but they are only surmisings. Like the several Installments previous to this one, the mysteriousness continues.

One could interpret the prince as Jesus and I am one of his servants. But as to why it is in England is beyond me. I just found it interesting that I gave the crassy lady a crass statement about wealth and intelligence.

But for me, it doesn’t escape my attention that this dream occurred the day prior to the Feast of Unleavened Bread. That day would be Month 1 Day 14, the day on which the lamb would be slaughtered.

On April 4, 2015 (Month 1 Day 15), the first day of Unleavened Bread, I prayed. I gave the blessing: Blessed are you Jehovah our God, Sovereign of the Cosmos, who has delivered us and brings to my memory our delivery.

From the timing of the prayer, being on the first day of Unleavened Bread, the “delivery” I was considering was that God delivered Israel, and ultimately all those that believe, from oppression. The Divine responded:

Good. Now consider something about delivery.

With that I recorded in my journal that I “had an image of childbirth-delivery”. Upon which the Divine conveyed:

Delivery is expectation.

When a lady is pregnant, and assuming the child is wanted, she does expect delivery, as one would expect the father does as well – the expectation that life will be delivered into the world. The Divine continued:

Expectation is hesitation.

Yet there is hesitation, because we have to stop and think about what to expect, there’s even a book dedicated to covering the concepts of what to expect. One spends all that time contemplating, considering.

But the delivery must happen, and that causes hesitation, because not all deliveries are easy. The Divine added:

Hesitation of delivery, for delivery is excruciatingly more difficult than imagined, but more beautiful and sublime than one could ever conceive.

Even if/when the delivery is labored (no pun intended), the joy that sets on the other side is as the Divine conveyed “more beautiful and sublime than one could ever conceive.” Amazing is that moment, there is nothing quite like it.

During the prayer, the Divine continued conveying concepts about delivery and motherhood, concepts which are not so mysterious.

But that prayer did not remain that way. Later in the prayer, the Divine conveyed:

Now consider this.

So there is something that I need to contemplate. The Divine continued:

Up yonder hill, sits maiden widowed still.

So there I was on day one of the Feast of Unleavened Bread back on that April day (Month 1 Day 15) last year, and the Divine conveys again the concept about a widowed maiden.

First, how on earth is a maiden, a woman who has never been married, a widow? I mean think about that, because I have no clue how that happens. It’s a paradox to me.

But she is described as sitting on a hill. Is that a metaphoric hill? A literal hill? I really have no clue.

But whoever this “she” is, she is sitting still, which I take is not about remaining motionless, but that she still, meaning in spite of everything, was there on that hill, whatever the hill is. The Divine continued:

Up she arises.

I get the picture – she has determined to leave the hill.

You know, as I am here, right here, right now, writing about this I recall that in late 2015 I wrote a series of Facebook notes about making decisions about a hilltop, entitled: Hilltop Decisions; along with another series entitled: Hilltop Visions; all which concluded with a note entitled: Hilltop Departure, all of which was a discussion of myself and me coming to a decision about my life. So maybe this unmarried widow was myself? I am not so certain.

Either way, whether me, or another “she”, she has determined to leave the hill. The Divine continued:

Down the hill she walks,

If the “she” was a metaphoric reference to me, like I wrote in Hilltop Departure, I had to leave the hilltop. Even though I had something that seems to parallel this prayer, it is possible that the prayer is NOT referring to things about myself.

Instead, this prayer could be completely conveyed about another “her”. I am considering that as a possibility, because the Divine continued:

crossing her Jordan, on stormy banks she stands, this too shall pass,

So this “her” has to do something that seems treacherous. But since it is compared with Israel’s crossing of the Jordan, and although stormy, like the crossing, it will occur successfully. Yet, the Divine added:

but wild winds blow, throes of delivery, screams of wail,

In that crossing the wind gives way to delivery, the image of a mother giving birth. The Divine continued:

but upon her chest sets a child upon bosom blessed,

Notice that the child rests upon a woman that the Divine described as blessed. But is this child a metaphor or literal? The Divine continued:

the life she wanted, the life she received, unexpected it was, unexpected it is, desired none-the-less, and no more needed,

It is so effortless to read this as a literal child, but I am not certain that the child is literal, because this could simply serve as imagery.

If a literal child, then goodness comes from it, even if conceived in less than desirable circumstances.

If metaphoric, then the “child” is still something that “she” wanted and “she” received.

Now what is telling, for me anyway, is that for “her” the “child” was unexpected. Yet, “she” doesn’t mind the unexpected nature of the “child” because she desires the child.

Something that makes me think this is a metaphoric child is the phrase “and no more needed”. Although the child was unexpected, she desired the child, and because the child was desired, the phrase seems to indicate that there was no need for another child.

Think of it like this: for me, I do not expect to ever own a Porsche 911 Turbo. Therefore, if I ever receive one, the 911 Turbo would be unexpected. The 911 could be one from the 1960s, or the 70s, or the 80s, 90s, or one built since 2000.

Personally, I don’t expect that I will ever have one of these Porsches, but I do desire to have a 911 Turbo, preferably air-cooled, no electronic stability control, and no flush mount headlights, instead I want the best production version before all the redesigns, transforming it into a flush mounted headlamp system, with water-cooled engine, and an electronic taming of the beast. Don’t get me wrong, I’d own and drive almost any Porsche 911 or its off-shoots, but I prefer 1989 and earlier.

However, as unlikely it is that I will have one, if I receive one, there will be no need for me to have another, because I was able to get that which I desired.

But like so much during the last few Installments, it’s just all kinds of mystifying. The Divine continued:

but the need of the heart always seeks its need,

From this then, one might think that I should seek out my 911 Turbo, if it really is a need of my heart, but I used that for a parallel concept for comparison.

So for the prayer, whoever “she” is had a need for a “child” and although it was unexpected, a child was received. Why? Because in “her” heart she wanted a child, it was a need of her heart.

From there though, things take on a different idea. The Divine continued:

and that need you fulfill.

What? With the metaphoric concept, am I her “child”? Or do I give her a “child”? Truly, one can interpret this on one of several levels, so I am uncertain.

But how the prayer continues is just as mysterious, the Divine continued:

Wash her, cleanse her, purify her,

Conceptual ideas, I get that. But are they metaphorical or literal? Probably more metaphorical, but it could be literal in the aspect of assisting in some emotional way or something like that.

But it is how the Divine continued after this portion of the prayer that is –how shall I say this?– unique. I considered adjusting the wording because I, quite frankly, don’t prefer it. However, the words go with the motif of this part of the prayer, the Divine concluded:

deliver her unto your bosom, each woman upon your breast.

From that, well, that is a weird picture, but the Divine uses the picture to convey comfort. So, I guess it conveys what it conveys. I take it that “her” refers to Rachel, only because I already have a lady at my side.

To be certain, they are not newborns, and they do not, I repeat do not, receive sustenance from me like an infant would receive from its mother. Instead, these ladies are adults.

Before I close, I am curious about “deliver her”. How is that even accomplished, because I don’t even know who this “her” is? All I can think is that, at some point, things will occur as they are supposed to.

But the closing of the prayer is a picture conveying comfort, closeness, and intimacy of relationship. While the picture is powerful, it is something that I want actualized. A picture, a painting, a portrait is valuable, but it is nothing like the life it portrays – a life of beauty and splendor that I embrace.

Blessings and Shalom