Installment 123

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Does the mysterious continue? Perhaps.

On April 6, 2015 (Month 1 Day 17), I prayed. During that prayer the Divine conveyed:

Now listen.

That brings to mind that I need to listen in order to understand in order to do. The Divine continued:

Upon calm pond sits a boat. In that [boat] sits a man. That man contemplates to himself: “what have I done?” He sits on pond, in boat, without oars, without paddles, without any locomotion. He knows he’s on the pond, in a boat, but does not know how to remove himself from his situation.

Because some will misinterpret the “situation” of the above, in the context of the question, the “situation” is not having locomotion, the ability, to move one’s boat. So the problem for the man is that he has lost the ability to move his boat.

With that in mind, the Divine continued:

How do you believe he could remove himself?

In the prayer, I answered: The question assumes he wants ashore.

The Divine responded:


To which I responded: He could use his hands as locomotion, and pull himself and the boat toward the shore. Or he could jump [in the water] and swim. Or like Yeshua, believe, and walk on water to the shore.

The Divine responded:

Which would you do?

I answered: Probably, use my hands.

The Divine responded:

And that is why you fail.

My reader, that is not what you want to hear. The Divine continued:

The man assumed he needed to be at shore, instead of asking “why am I here?”

To that I replied: So, you are saying that my method of getting to the shore is not incorrect, but the assumption I made was incorrect.

The Divine responded:


To that I replied: Then, how do I change the assumption(s)?

To that, the Divine responded:

That, my son, is the mystery. See me tomorrow.

When I look at that, assumptions, presumptions, have been an issue. Look, we all, and I mean ALL make assumptions. There is a common phrase that speaks to the problems with making assumptions, it’s crass, so I won’t include it.

But assumptions are always made. We assume that school teachers know their subject matter. We assume that our parents know what they are talking about. We assume that preachers are telling the truth. We assume that elected officials have our best interest in mind.

Then somewhere along the line, we learn that our assumptions were, well, wrong. Not all teachers know the subject matter. Not all parents know what they are talking about. Not all preachers are telling the truth. And not all elected officials have our best interest in mind.

Notice that at the end of the prayer, I didn’t even ask: How did I get here?

At the end of the prayer, I simply asked about changing my assumptions, to which the Divine responded that was the mystery, so the mystery continued/continues, and that the Divine would see me tomorrow.

Back on that date of that prayer, I was praying daily. So tomorrow could have, in fact, referred to the day that followed that prayer. But, in fact, it could also refer to a metaphoric ‘tomorrow’. I simply wonder if that ‘tomorrow’ has arrived.

We all find ourselves in a situation, and we want a way out of our situation, so we look for the way out. Rarely, if ever, do we turn around and go: Well, why am I here? And that was the point of the prayer.

Why am I here?

You know, I have been telling “My Story” but in some ways, hate to sound like a little child, but there are days, like today, that I don’t know.

I can point to events, I can point to experience, but it’s like looking at my overall life, I can tell people when I met Mary, I don’t know “how” it all came together. Situations are not always easy to understand.

The next day, April 7, 2015 (Month 1 Day 18), I made a note to myself that I was having some difficulty regarding my faith in my assumptions.

I prayed: Father I am here. What would you share with me?

During that prayer, the Divine conveyed:

My son, to have that which you do not have requires belief. Belief can take you a year, or a lifetime, or never, it is up to you.

Isn’t that the kicker of life? I mean, in a general and healthy sense, we want what we want, and we want to have that which we do not have. For instance, gaining higher education, or finding a spouse.

But, for me, the Divine said, belief mattered to achieving. And then said belief could take a year, or a lifetime or it might never even happen.

But to what ‘belief’ was the Divine referring?

Belief in the Divine? I’ve had that for many years.

Belief that the Divine will provide? I’ve struggled with that.

But belief could also be about belief in my self, the sense that belief in myself would provide me some assistance in living a life with two ladies.

Later in the prayer, the Divine added:

Now consider this, something new.

So, in this prayer, I asked for some help and it seems that I was receiving it. Now for something I need to consider. The Divine continued:

A field is turned, turned over and again, turned yet again, and again.

Okay, considering that I was confronted with assumptions, perhaps then it means that I had been turning over a field making the wrong assumptions about that field.

With that in mind, it is interesting that the Divine conveyed:

How many times must the farmer turn the soil before he accepts the soil as ready?

In this question is the “soil” me? Or is the “soil” someone else? I am assuming -ahem- it’s me, but I am not certain.

But the question revolves around the concept of continually turning over the soil and doing nothing with it. That is difficult.

So perhaps, I had turned over a “soil” that had been based on previous assumptions, which might mean that I am not the soil, but that my situation was the soil.

With that in mind, it is important that the Divine continued:

That my son is a question you must answer,

And that is exactly what I am attempting to do. As I study through this, I do wonder if the soil that I had turned over and over and over was because I worked from incorrect assumptions. If so, it is no wonder that nothing became of it.

For me, even though this prayer was last year, it is important how the Divine continued:

for harvest time draws near, and you have yet to plant.

You see, if one keeps turning over certain soil because of one’s assumptions, then one does not ever get to the business of planting the seed into the soil. That is a problem.

That is why the Divine continued:

If not planted, this season will pass, like those seasons before it, and an empty, turned over field is all you will have. Dirt. Man. Nothing.

I am not certain, but I do think, that season passed, like the seasons before it, and an overturned field was all I had, in a sense – the dirt and the farmer, but nothing for his (my) efforts.

Importantly, the Divine conveyed:

What do you want?

That is the actual question: What is it that I want?

Back in April 2015, I could tell you what I wanted. Now, you know, I feel that I have too many unknowns, discussed too many mysterious parts. What I wanted, I am not sure I want.

I want a life with two ladies, but what I once thought as certain, seems not so much so.

In closing out the prayer, the Divine conveyed:

Blessings my son. Turn the field. Amen.

The first and last statements, I understand. But it is the middle statement that makes me wonder.

Wasn’t I told not to keep turning the field? It seems so.

But as for that particular instance of “turn the field” I’ll tell you what I think it refers to. Here’s what I think:
That prayer was in April 2015,
April 2016 came and went,
For me, that means, I did exactly what I should not have done – I turned the field one more time, because from April 2015 through somewhere in 2016, I ran on many of the assumptions.

So, I am taking it that this instance of “turn the field” refers to what I was, based on April 2015, going to do. And I did, I turned it over, the season passed, dirt and man remained.

Here’s what I know. I lived. I experienced. I thought. I assumed. I moved forward.

Here I am in October 2016, and my recent prayers are leading me to understand that a new day has arrived.

In a sense, the ground of my heart is prepared. It has been turned, and turned, and turned, and many of the assumptions that I had, I have had to toss out. I saw what happened in my life.

I don’t want to continue having an empty field. I look forward. I see what’s happening in my life, things are changing, in some instances have changed, and I look to see what the next few months hold.

I expect my life to have two ladies, with Mary and another. But when, well that remains unknown.

Blessings and Shalom