Facebook Note “Changes”

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I have something really important that I want to share. For some, what I am about to share will be unexpected. For others, it probably will not be a surprise.

Many of our friends and family know about the things that have developed over the last few years with Mary and me. I am not here to rehash those things. It has been a long journey from that day to this, and our journey is not over.

From my previous experiences with attempting to discuss things, whether on FB or in private, I expect to get asked questions, and I doubt that I will be able to provide any response that will provide comfort to my friends and family.

I have had to come to accept that in walking my life, and in Mary walking her life, she and I have had to make decisions that consternate others, including the closest of friends and family.

It provides me no comfort knowing that making decisions about my life has caused others to feel that I have let them down or in some instances, betrayed them. Having experienced the last few years, I have simply had to accept that it is impossible for me to fulfill everyone’s expectations.

In assessing life, Mary and I have come to a point at which we have confidence in our decision. But, it is a decision that will disappoint some.

We have been diligent. We have been prayerful. We have been dutiful. We have been reflective. We have been careful to put things in the balance and weigh them.

I feel certain that there are those who will believe and feel that we have made the improper decision. For these individuals, we have no words of consolation.

Before I give the announcement, Mary and I have already notified our parents, letting them know.

As Mary and I consider our life, consider our needs, consider our family, consider our future, and consider what is right for us and how we need to live our lives, we have determined that what is best is to allow the sun to set upon our marriage, and end it with a divorce.

This decision was not made in haste, nor in anger, and certainly not in malice and not in regret.

In fact, she and I are still friends, we expect to be life-long friends, because we built a life together, one that produced children, and those things will always need careful, mindful, prayerful, parental care. We have talked with our children. We have prepared them for this.

This decision was not easy, but we believe it is the proper course of action for us, and proper for the course we believe that each of us, as individuals, must take.

For us, this was a tremendous decision, and was not arrived at or decided in haste. Mary and I have prayed about and discussed this to our mutual satisfaction. We recognize and understand the decision has ramifications. We have made our decision, and we cannot foresee either of us changing our minds.

For those who are curious, to answer your unasked question: no, and currently there is no woman involved in our lives, not even waiting.

Here’s how things stand as of today. Last week, I presented to the court the petition. Today, I presented the additional required paperwork, and a hearing date was assigned.

Mary and I are letting everyone know, because as we have with our life, she and I live it in plain view.

She and I ask everyone to respect our decision. She and I ask everyone to respect her parents and to respect my parents and respect the thoughts and beliefs of the parents and family.

As you have in the past, continue to do, please keep Mary and me in your prayers.

In the face of this difficult news, blessings and shalom to all.