After lengthy study, I came to understand there was an avenue that provided an ability to govern our specific needs.
Mary and I determined that she and I wanted to write a formal and legal Private Contract to govern our personal relationship, by giving ourselves definitions, a means of developing things between us, giving understandings of ourselves for ourselves, including accountabilities, and responsibilities for each of us.
With my studies in mind, I operate from the conjoined Western anthropological and Biblical truth, accepting that the SCECS Accepted Marriage is not the only avenue to govern a personal relationship.
As for me, I aim for an understanding of the Biblical historic development and the Western anthropological historic development of the personal relationship, and I accept there is a wide range of concepts of the personal relationship both inside and outside the Bible.
For me, I have come to accept that, anthropologically and Biblically, there are variations to the personal relationship, and only within a limited context does God address aspects of, conduct within, and governance of the personal relationship.
For me, while the Bible certainly provides details about the personal relationship, the Bible also reveals that God permitted humanity to define, develop, and refine human understanding of the Private Contract, in part, evidenced by the cultural, societal, legal, and religious traditions that developed within Israel.
That might be difficult for some believers to accept, because many believers want to turn to the Bible in order to have an easy answer to quell the arguments and debates about definitions, developments, understandings, accountabilities, responsibilities, and governings of the personal relationship.
Yet, Biblical history reveals that God did not specify one specific definition, development, understanding, accountability, responsibility, or governing of the personal relationship.
Additionally, anthropological history and Biblical history both reveal that humanity has difficulty defining, developing, and understanding the personal relationship, and that humanity has difficulty identifying accountabilities and responsibilities for the individuals in the personal relationship.
For me, I have found the definitions, developments, understandings, accountabilities, and responsibilities associated with the SCECS Accepted Marriage to be contentious and incomplete.
That means I have lost confidence in the ability of the SCECS Accepted Marriage to serve as a viable governing vehicle for my personal relationship.
That means I have lost confidence in the ability of families and the entities within SCECS to provide the SCECS Accepted Marriage with definitions, developments, understandings, accountabilities, and responsibilities that will adequately function as a vehicle for governing my personal relationship.
Certainly for others that is not the situation, which is why I am not arguing or debating the SCECS Accepted Marriage.
In other words, for many, the SCECS Accepted Marriage, including its associated Prenuptial Agreement, is an avenue that works.
Many work within that framework to define, develop, and understand their personal relationship, and give accountabilities and responsibilities to the participants in their SCECS Accepted Marriage.
Additionally, many defend the SCECS Accepted Marriage and its ability to govern their relationship.
But for Mary and me, we came to understand that the SCECS Accepted Marriage did not work well for our personal relationship.
As such, Mary and I chose to terminate our SCECS Accepted Marriage. We terminated that governing authority in order to pursue and write our own Private Contract.
Governing of one’s own personal relationship is not unheard of; it’s just that few seem to have chosen to have such active and direct governance over their own personal relationship.
For instance, while different from what I am describing, I refer to one particular aspect of how a Christian told me about how they govern(ed) their personal relationship.
Their governance over their personal relationship: they, working together, would sit down every seven years, analyze their personal relationship, ascertain things, and determine if they wanted to continue for another seven years.
When I first heard that, I encountered a thought foreign to my experience. At the time, hopefully, my face was inquisitive and not accusative. I look back though and have to admit that when I first heard how they governed their personal relationship it seemed unconscionable.
But now I appreciate that they decided to take active and direct control of their personal relationship and have at least one specific mechanism to help govern their personal relationship.
That is not the way I want to govern my personal relationship, but it is how they decided to govern their personal relationship. After all, it is their personal relationship, thus their privilege and right to govern their personal relationship the way they want – different from others, yet relevant to them.
That is really all I am attempting to describe: each personal relationship is governed by something, and how the individuals in that personal relationship decide how they want to govern their personal relationship will vary.
Some will choose to govern their personal relationship by participating in the SCECS Accepted Marriage; others will not.
In fact, many (most?) personal relationships that use the SCECS Accepted Marriage still develop additional means of governing, at least informally, their personal relationship, determining things like: who each person can associate with; expectations of responsibilities, accountabilities to family; how the money is divided; where they will live, which hobbies one can have or not have; who mows the yard; who takes out the trash; the list can go on and on.
All I am doing is going back to an older Western cultural and Biblical cultural experience of governing the personal relationship through a Private Contract.
The Private Contract allows the individuals to have an active and direct governing control over the definitions, developments, understandings, accountabilities, and responsibilities of the Private Contact, which governs the individuals within the contract.
The Private Contract also limits and/or removes the involvement of families and entities external to the contract.
The Private Contract encourages the individuals within the contract to take an active role to direct the course of their personal relationship.