21. I am determined to see things differently.

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i am determined to see things differently.

okay, some background before i begin this lesson.

for me, years ago when i was attending home bible studies, i looked at the bible through the thoughts and sights i had been given. back then as we were reading the bible, i looked at the bible through those thoughts and sights and the bible’s thoughts and sights made no sense.

after spending that time in home bible studies, i determined to see what was going on. so i determined to gain some tools for studying the bible, i gained those tools, took those tools into my bible studies, my perception of the bible’s thoughts and sights began to change to the point where they feel almost completely changed from where i once was.

with that in mind, this concept is not really new for me. to “see” differently requires determination, but to “see” things differently also takes a recognition that there is something out of focus with the way one currently “sees”.

back then everyone around me taught me how to “see” the bible, i “saw” the bible through that focus. i learned some other things, how i “saw” the bible changed. that change of “sight” is why many of my old associates no longer want to be around me because i have come to “see” things differently. but that’s part of the cost of “sight” and i learned that i couldn’t help them “see” what i was “seeing”.

that said:
i am still determined to see things differently.

i am still choosing to be purposeful to see things differently, undaunted by that which i may or may not “see” when i “see” things differently.

truly, my past experience of “seeing” things differently irritated me to the point of anger, and to the point of throwing in the towel on pulpit ministry.

the difficult thing was (is) to learn what causes that irritation within, and that irritation can be relatively the same from moment to moment or from moment to moment that irritation can be vastly different.

then the difficult thing was (is) to learn what is attacking my thoughts and or my sights. that itself adds difficulty to the difficulty.

but i must remain undaunted, and remember that what i currently believe about the thoughts and sights really do not connect to anything meaningful.

from my past
i was determined to see the bible differently.
i was determined to see my religions heritage differently.
i was determined to see the doctrine differently.

i was determined to see marriage differently.
i was determined to see my wife differently.
i was determined to see my relationship differently.

consider that:
i am determined to see the computer differently.
i am determined to see the car differently.
i am determined to see the building differently.

i am determined to hear music differently.
i am determined to hear ideas differently.
i am determined to hear words differently.

i am determined to see politics differently.
i am determined to see religion differently.
i am determined to see money differently.

but there are times that it is helpful to meditate as:
i am determined to see [attribute] in [object] differently.

in the past that meant:
i am determined to see teachings about baptism differently.
i am determined to see teachings about singing differently.
i am determined to see teachings about marriage differently.

in the present it could mean:
i am determined to see the humanness of my family differently.
i am determined to see possibility of my life differently.
i am determined to see beauty of my relational life differently.

thoughts and sights, they are.

thoughts and sights, that i am determined to see differently.

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