what i see is a form of vengeance.
some background, long before i was introduced to this book and this particular lesson, i had my anger confronted. i had anger about several specific things, things which i perceived to be against me personally, ideas and words that meant something different to them than to me.
but i did not realize that until years later. i realized that they were trying to impose their definitions of ideas and words upon me, definitions of ideas and words that they themselves would routinely violate in order to obtain whatever it was, sometimes at my detriment and expense.
years later, i learned it was they who were interacting with life according to their definitions of ideas and words. i had recognized their inconsistency, so i determined that they could build their world through their eyes, and that their eyes could exclude and impugn things that they cannot accept into the world they had built with their thoughts, presented in ideas and words. in essence; that was the world they created, and i had come to realize that the world that had been created was by the imaginations of humanity, not actually what was.
so instead of trying to attack that human-imagined world, i chose to allow them to remain in the world of their creation, yet i departed from that which they had created because i had learned that which they presented was not the most wholesome or healthy means of understanding reality.
so for me, i have traveled the distance necessary to have already learned this lesson. but i am trying to share it as if i were engaging it for the first time.
as for the lesson, there was a time i wanted to “attack” that which was false. but in time, i came to realize that they have to be granted their existence and the natural right to “see” things they way they are going to “see” them, even if that is detrimental to them and others. that seems unfair, but that is life, in time i came to be at peace with that, and is how i came to be at peace with the process that people can and do live life blinded to reality.
considering the previous lessons, that statement of this lesson (what i see is a form of vengeance.) means that which i see is a thought from me and my sight which wants to “see” punishment inflicted for injuries and wrongs.
consider that for the one who holds the idea of attack in their thoughts, they want to see vengeance enacted because of wrongs they have suffered.
the issue is that for the one who seeks vengeance they project vengeance and the world reflects that vengeance back at them.
from that then, the one who holds attack in their thoughts is doing so from the perspective of self-defense, defending themselves from further harm, defending themselves from having to endure additional injuries.
the difficulty is that there is the one who is thinking, seeing, and projecting, then the world is returning that projection, and then the one returns that same action, to where the cycle continues until the one wants to see something other than vengeance.
further difficulty is that peace eludes the one who experiences the prior paragraph.
considering the previous lessons, it is helpful to learn that these thoughts of vengeance are not reality, and thus finding the real thoughts can bring peace.
with that thought then, that which one finds unacceptable is unacceptable because of one’s thoughts and sights. in essence, that which is feared is in the mind as thoughts, which are projected as sights, and fearful thoughts are false and thus not actual reality, which means that the thoughts which the mind fears do not exist.
consider the following:
all that i really see is only the perishable.
which means that i see nothing that will last.
therefore, what i see is not real.
which means what i see is a form of vengeance projected from my thoughts.
is a world of vengeance what i really want to see?
thoughts, my thoughts.
my thoughts, about vengeance.
vengeance is not a real thought.
vengeance that keeps me from seeing that which really is.