44. god is the light in which i see.
as in the previous lessons, i am simply working with this material and do not judge it. however, if i were to name the lesson title it would be: the creator is the light in which i see. and it is from that reworked title that i will write.
the creator is the light in which i see.
okay, the heart of this lesson can be a huge challenge, a rather large hurdle. so i want to give some background.
the heart of this lesson is learning to let go of what is termed ego.
the english word ego which refers to self, defined as a person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance, which can be synonymous with self-worth, self-respect, and self-image.
importantly, the english word ego is derived from the greek word spelled into english as ego. in greek, ego translates into the english word “i”.
therefore ego refers to self, and perhaps most importantly to self-image, the image that one has about their own self.
from where does the image of self, the ego, derive? initially from others.
those who tell you: you are good.
those who tell you: you are bad.
those who tell you: you are worthless.
those who tell you: you are worthy.
those voices can be family, friends, associates, teachers, coaches, voices from anyone in everyday life to the voices from those that we look up to and aspire to be.
those voices provide an initial definition of ego, our personal self-image.
the heart of this lesson encourages the person to consider that self-image is presenting something that is not completely illuminated by the light of the creator.
that is a tall order, extraordinarily tall order.
what am i to think? that my self-image is a construct? that my self-image, my ego, is not true?
that is what the lesson is encouraging me, as a student, to pursue.
so here’s some of my background. through years of other efforts, i have experienced the heart of this lesson, in the sense that i discovered that who i am is not who i was told to be, therefore i learned that i had been given an image of self that others wanted me to have.
that is not wrong. that is simply life.
yet, others have conducted life in such a way that all through my life they were helping me construct my self-image, from the clothes i should wear to the way i should style my hair, from the lessons i was taught in school to the lessons i was taught in church, from culture to society each person has been offering their “sight” of who i should be, offering their vision of me and that had become my self-image.
the best way for me to express that is: when i was told, one day you’ll make a great preacher.
for them, i was never that great preacher. i would be someone else’s great preacher. always in the future, not the present. but to the contrary of that, i saw my self as great preacher in the present and they couldn’t see it.
that is why, i always clashed with the congregants, i saw myself as one thing, when they saw me as another.
thankfully, after prayers and divine circumstance, i stepped away from the pulpit.
after stepping away from the pulpit, i have been on a journey of discovering my self-image, the ego, as seen from the creator’s vision not human vision, even when human vision is my own.
this is not an easy step to begin. it can be startling, when one begins to see that self-image is not what i, as self, expected the ego to be.
after that one of two things take place.
one, the process of revelation and discovery are closed off, and a certain version of self-image is retained.
or two, the reshaping process takes place, and the person, the interior of the person is re-envisioned by a different source. in the case of this lesson, and in my case specifically, by the creator, the one who gifted life to me and wants to gift me the best vision for my self-image.
i have gone through some of the reshaping process, so i will be candid. it is uncomfortable, and it is not for the timid, and it is not for those who do not want to be reshaped.
with that in mind, the lesson:
the creator is the light in which i see.
the lesson conveys that it simply is not possible to see in the dark.
the lesson conveys that it simply is not possible for me to create light.
since those two things are, without doubt, true, then what is the answer?
to begin to answer, i must accept that light reflects life.
from that then, two things exist:
one, in some aspect light is part of creation; and
two, in some aspect darkness is part of non-creation, name non-creation what you will: hell, death, hades, or some other term.
the confusing thing is that we think that others can shed light on our self-image. why? since we can remember that’s how it was, from our earliest memories someone was shedding their light, their illumination, upon whom they thought we were.
while their “light” is profoundly important, and their illumination about us influences us to see our self-image in particular ways, the lesson is postulating that full illumination comes from the creator of light itself.
from the earlier lessons, we “see” the following:
the creator resides within creation, and
the creator creates and imparts light, and
i am part of the creator’s creation
because i am part of creation, then the creator and the creator’s light resides within me.
therefore, for me to “see”, i must accept that the creator’s light resides within my self.
accepting that, then the first part of the reshaping of my self-image is to “see” that the creator is within me, not external and apart from me.
accepting that, then i can begin to “see” that since the creator’s light resides within, then i can begin to “see” from that light and the creator’s light within permits and gifts vision to me in the circumstances of life.
the goal for today’s lesson is to “see” the light within.
it is not my self-image, my ego, that uses the computer;
it is not my self-image, my ego, that uses the car;
it is not my self-image, my ego, that uses the building.
the creator is the light in which i see the computer;
the creator is the light in which i see the car;
the creator is the light in which i see the building.
the creator is the light in which i see my self-image, my ego.
that could be a tremendously difficult concept to “see”, but it can be done.
to achieve that requires the willingness to accept that my image of self, my ego, my self-image, has been given to me other than by the creator.
who gave me my self-image, my ego? others, to include my own self.
to engage in this process, one has to assume two things.
one, that my current self-image is not the creator’s image for my self-image.
two, that i want to engage in the reshaping process.
a note for my reader, i am only discussing the lesson, the contents.
long ago, i chose to experience the process of being reshaped and my self-image changed. for me it was long and arduous, and i lost some associates along the way. that was my cost of learning about my self, and coming to terms with the creator’s image for my self.
for me, before i knew about the process, i wanted the process. that means before i knew about this book and before i knew that it would change my life completely, i wanted the process.
yet, this is true: the creator is the light in which i see.
the lesson is to “see” that self-image needs to be aligned with the light that the creator places within, which should provide a sense of peace, which will lead to happiness and relaxation.