47. god is the strength in which i trust.
as with previous lessons, i present the lesson title without judging it. however i would rephrase the title to: the creator is the strength in which i trust.
the core of today’s lesson is a reflection and consideration of one’s own personal strength and that depending upon where one’s place their trust they will either have confidence or have no confidence, where having confidence leads to: pleasure, calmness, happiness, assurance, joy, and where having no confidence leads to: anger, anxiety, depression, fear, and sorrow.
some background. in other places, in other venues, through other means, i have learned this lesson. this is a difficult lesson to learn. why? in learning it, i had to learn how insufficient my own strength, even my own strength of understanding, actually is. this does not make me a bad or weak person, but learning about one’s own strengths and weaknesses can be quite helpful in learning about one’s self and learning how to move forward in life knowing about one’s self.
the creator is the strength in which i trust.
the question that is assumed but is not asked is: in what do i place my trust?
here is what i have found from my learning this lesson.
when i was young i was led to trust those around me. i was young, i didn’t know much of anything, and sure didn’t have any point of reference by which i could ascertain the veracity of anything i was taught or told.
as i matured into young adulthood, i began to see that others could not be completely trusted, not their person, not their thinking, not even to keep their commitments.
but, i thought i had the ability to trust myself. why? i learned that others would fail me, but i believed i could trust myself. that was until i learned i couldn’t.
so when i lost trust in others and in myself, in what did i place my trust?
i tried, trusting human systems, ideologies, theologies, philosophies, even tried trusting the bible.
what did i find? my trust was eroded, again.
when trust erodes and/or vanishes completely, it becomes difficult to want to trust anything, even ‘god’.
for me, i have been on a journey that in the absence of anything human or humanly devised being trust worthy, i have learn to trust . that is the challenge: giving out trust, when one has been hurt.
but returning to the lesson.
the real challenge is to accept the proper perspective. what is the proper perspective?
when i trust in my own strength, i have proper reason to be apprehensive, anxious, and fearful.
but that also applies to when i trust the strength found in other humans or i trust the strength of any human system or i trust the strength of any human thought process. why? humans are frail and, even when under the best intentions, fail.
since placing trust (faith) in weaknesses and failure does not imbue me with a sense of safety, and since placing trust (faith) in weakness and failure encourages anxiety and fear, in what do i trust?
the lesson postulates that god is the safety in every circumstance.
that is a heavy postulation. here’s what i mean.
humanity has come to have a distaste for ‘god’ and is one reason why i utilize the reference: the creator.
why has humanity come to have a distaste? in my experience not because of negative experiences from ‘god’, per se, but certainly from negative experiences of those who claim to follow, know, and represent ‘god’.
hence, that distaste gives wariness to even the notion that ‘god’ should be trusted.
well, when one looks at the evidence, it is difficult to trust even ‘god’. let’s just be candidly candid, shall we? ‘god’ seems to have some bad representatives giving ‘god’ a bad reputation, and that is difficult to overcome.
so what is to be done?
for me to give ‘god’, the creator, a ‘fair’ hearing, i have to look past the bad representatives who give the creator a bad reputation. here’s what i mean.
here in our circumstance of life, we have people who sell cars. the typical view is that these people who sell cars are sleazy. sadly, the reputation is deserved. why? because SOME people who sell cars truly are sleazy.
but, the issue is that SOME representatives of the people who sell cars create a bad reputation, wherein the general observation is that ALL people within car sales are sleazy.
importantly, the rational truth is:
not ALL people who sell cars are sleazy;
which means that
only SOME people who sell cars are sleazy.
yet, the perceived reputation of people who car sales is so pervasively poor and so difficult to overcome that it makes it seem that almost all people who sell cars are sleazy, even though rationally such is not the case.
admittedly, it is not entirely parallel, but the parable (if i can use that term) does reveal the issue when trying to trust ‘god’, the creator.
in light of the poor reputation given by the people who follow ‘god’, there is a real challenge to believe that ‘god’, the creator, would be my safety in all situations.
yet that is what the lesson is postulating that the creator has the answer for me for every circumstance of my life, and in that the creator can me strength and protection for each and every situation in life.
that seems like a tall order, but the lesson is about reaching past my own weakness in order to find the source of real strength, when real strength can not be found in humanity or human institutions or human thinking.
with that in mind, the lesson states:
the creator is the strength in which i trust.
from that then, i can “see” the following:
the creator is the strength in which i trust the computer, the car, and the building.
the creator is the strength in which i trust music, ideas, and words.
the creator is the strength in which i trust politics, religion, and money.
the creator is the strength in which i trust sexuality, emotionality, and family.
the creator is the strength in which i trust my personality, my mentality, my physicality.
the creator is the strength in which i trust my personal relationships, my marriage, my personal problems.
the creator is the strength in which i trust my mother, my father, my boss, my co-worker, my spouse, my lover, my friend, my enemy, and my neighbor.
why? because the creator will provide me with the strength and protection for each of those things.
however reflectively, it seems easier to believe that the creator is the strength in which i trust the computer than with my enemy.
yet, i am stretching my perspectives, to “see” that since the creator is the source of strength of my trust, then i can trust that the creator will provide me with the needed safety for all circumstances (which are the above examples from car to my neighbor) in my life.
why? because as a child of the creator, peace is my right, because i am giving my trust to the strength of the creator.