49. god’s voice speaks to me all through the day.
as with past lessons, i will rephrase the lesson title: the creator’s voice speaks to me all through the day.
okay. that lesson title is a big deal.
some background. i was raised in a section of christendom that does not believe in the active leading of god, the creator. that section of christendom taught me that god’s active leading was no longer available once the new testament had been completed, and thus the creator’s leading was completely unavailable to anyone in modernity.
i observed the completeness of that thought when i observed a church leader offer a prayer, stating one simple phrase: thank you; and with that the prayer ended. that was when i began to rethink prayer and god, because if god didn’t actively lead then what was the point of praying in the first place, because prayer itself insinuates that the one praying wants god to act.
so i come from a background that believed no thing in so far as believing god would lead or even speak, not even believing in the still small voice that elijah was led to understand (1 kings 19), and certainly not the active dialogue that elijah is reported to have experienced with god (see the same chapter). so for many years, i wrestled with prayer.
then in 2012 i experienced leading that was difficult to explain. at first, i was startled, then i felt compelled to share the experience. then as i shared what i experienced, i was repeatedly told that it was from the adversary, or that it was sourced from within myself, and the critics were certain that god would never lead in that manner.
from that moment until today, i have lost many friends and even some family. i still wrestle with god and any type of ‘leading’. at best, i find the experience subjective, and completely incapable of being proven as true.
for instance, i have found that there are believers who believe that god led them to purchase a vehicle, then they turn around and get rid of that vehicle because they feel that god led them to purchase a different vehicle.
that is simply one experience, and the experiences are as varied as there are people and believers. so who is to know for certain what is and what is not a leading from the creator?
some will say that god speaks through small signs, that things like coincidences are not coincidences but organized events from the creator. but what i have experienced is that those almost always seem to be from a particular point of view, and when the point of view changes, questions of veracity surface.
but, irrespective of criticism, the believer seems to always believe, even if the leading were not truly from the creator.
but that has not been the case with me. i have been trying to determine if the lesson title is actuality: the creator’s voice speaks to me all through the day.
at one point in time, a person asked me: if you could ask god any question, what would you ask.
i thought on that for some moments, then replied: forget asking a question, i want a dialogue.
that is what this lesson title seems to be insinuating, and certainly seems to be what elijah experienced. so what gives?
the book postulates that it is quite possible to listen to the creator’s voice all through the day without interrupting your regular activities in any way.
yep, that’s what the book postulates and goes on to state that the part of your mind in which truth resides is in constant communication with the creator, whether you are aware of it or not.
that is a difficult postulation for me to accept, and my constant testing of the creator’s leading since 2012 has proven incapable to prove to me that the creator’s leading is actual.
but perhaps, from a believer’s point of view, my experience simply shows that i can not be led because i do not believe.
either way, my experience clouds my ability to be objective with this lesson. i am completely uncertain about hearing the voice of the creator, no matter what any one says, especially when the book postulates things like this: the part that is listening to the voice of god is calm, always at rest and wholly certain.
personally, i have not found that postulation to be true, and i have not found that postulation to be true regarding the biblical narrative. there are times that god leads people to incredible difficult things like cooking dinner over a pile of crap (ezekiel 4), to which the prophet recoiled, and even jonah disliked what he was lead to do. so where is the calmness that is postulated?
if the postulation is the foundation for measuring the calmness and love of the creator, then the prophets seem to be mistaken. yet my experience and my believe structure and my ability to read the scriptures informs me that calm is not always available for those being led.
the only thing that i can think is that when the book states: try to identify with the part of your mind where stillness and peace reign forever; try to hear the creator’s voice call to you lovingly, reminding you that your creator has not forgotten you, then the book is aiming specifically at a person who feels estranged from the creator.
under that auspice, then i can see the power of the book’s lesson. elijah and jonah were not estranged from the creator. to the contrary, elijah and ezekiel and jonah were connected to the creator and the creator wanted each of them to perform a role to convey something important.
yet, i want to believe that what the lesson postulates (the creator’s voice speaks to me all through the day) is possible.
is the lesson title possible?
from the previous lessons, only when one’s perspective changes.
so i leave this lesson, with this from the book:
listen in deep silence.
be very still and open your mind.
go past all the raucous shrieks and sick imaginings that cover your real thoughts and obscure your eternal link with the creator.
sink deep into the peace that waits for you beyond the frantic, riotous thoughts and sights and sounds of this unpeaceful world. you do not live here.
we are trying to reach your real home.
we are trying to reach the place where you are truly welcome.
we are trying to reach the creator.
whenever you can, close your eyes to the world, and realize that you are inviting the creator’s voice to speak with you.